On January 20th, Inauguration Day,
Trump took the Oath of Office while he sipped a Dubonnet.
His victory a landslide, he was carried by a flood
of voters who were fed up and were out to shed some blood.
With ceremonies over, he pushed back his wavy hair,
and had the White House staff start counting all the silverware.
He emptied out the closets and made Washington turn pale
by holding an enormous Oval Office rummage sale.
"We'll put this country on its feet!" he told the correspondents,
"even if we have to sell the Smithsonian's fine contents!"
Suiting word to deed, turnstiles were installed about toot suite;
each congressman must pay a buck each time they take a seat.
He changed the brand on lots of things, which didn't make him nervous;
the Post Office he christened as The Trump Delivery Service.
He treated his Vice President as someone not momentous;
in fact he just might fire him, as he used to on Apprentice.
He made the military dress itself in lowly chino
and turned each mess hall on each base into a grand casino.
He sold the state of Maine to some investors for a billion.
(Some say they were Korean, but I think they were Brazilian.)
Next he turned his baleful eye, just like the basilisk,
upon the Muslim question and its terrifying risk.
He chartered lots of boats and sent 'em packing off to Cuba.
(Since the boats were leaky, let's hope they knew some scuba.)
And anyone on welfare was ignored as long as they
didn't rent where Donald held a landlord's ruthless sway.
But if they tried to live in territory he had marked,
they'd find that their belongings on the street were rudely parked.
His views on marriage are unique; he isn't any prude.
He isn't what you'd want to call a fan of rectitude.
He overturned the old laws and put in some laissez faire:
"Go marry often as you want if you can pay the fare".
In terms of law and order, Trump has done a splendid job;
he's turned the matter over to his friends within the Mob.
They run it like a bizness; profit margins are immense.
The crooks say 'please' and 'thank you' while the cops collect the cents.
He's making deals with China, telling them Taiwan's for sale.
He's drilled the oil out from Iran to make the mullahs fail.
He's told all South America to pay their legal debts
or our Marines go marching in, with lots of crippled vets.
No tax for corporations, and the IRS is hobbled
so all their audits on the rich are suddenly quite bobbled.
With so little coming in and great monies going out,
our infrastructure wilts amid the tumult and the shout.
"We like this new America" say voters stubbornly.
"The Donald will go down as savior in our history!"
"He's got the common touch, and has been bankrupt just like us."
"So we will put up with his foibles and unholy fuss . . . "
And somewhere in the heavens, there's another businessman
from early times who relishes Trump's preposterous game plan.
Yes, P.T. Barnum looks upon our President and smiles --
since his administration is using all of Barnum's wiles.
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