My Backyard Wilderness

I've filed for tax breaks from the IRS because, you see,

my backyard is a conservation easement -- verily!

The grass is tall and brown and gone to seed so long ago;

the pitcher plants and cockleburrs do naturally grow.

The birds are happy in their nests -- there's one in my garage.

And bats infest the tool shed (since the tools are all mirage).

The cesspool has collapsed into a lovely, murky pond;

cockroaches the size of cats it has just lately spawned.

Reverting back to nature, my backyard is quite unique.

I've left the garden hose on to create a little creek.

Mounds of rubbish are composting back to native soil.

And I promise never to start fracking for Big Oil. 

This wilderness is palpable and dangerous, you bet -- 

my wife took out the garbage just last week, and ain't back yet! 

So IRS, give me a break, a tax break I do mean --

for keeping my backyard so primeval and organic green.