Letter to Madelaine. Saturday, November 12, 2016.

Well, old girl, how's tricks? Between work, family, church, and school, I imagine you must meet yourself coming & going. I hope Mom continues to be a big help to you, as you mentioned the last time we spoke.
I was thinking of calling you today but I'm having so much trouble with my throat lately that I decided against it. I don't know if it's a lingering cold or the smog out here or what, but every morning for the past three weeks I can only manage a husky whisper, no more. There's not much pain, but a lot of phlegm (oh great, the old man is going into nasty detail!) My voice gets better as the day progresses and I drink a lot of fluids. But then in the evening the huskiness returns and I sound like a rusty winch. It's an inconvenience more than a health issue to me, so I won't bother to see the doctor about it.

More worrying was this morning I woke up to use the bathroom and experienced a great wave of nausea and dizziness -- something that has never happened to me to this extent before. I couldn't get out of bed for a while, and when I finally did I staggered like a drunk. The attack, or whatever it was, lasted for 2 hours before starting to clear up. I feel much better now, but am wondering if this will be a reoccurring problem for me now. Just to play safe, I don't plan on venturing far from my apartment today -- I 'll just stay home reading and writing. I've looked at some medical websites, and they all say my dizziness and nausea could be the result of a sudden drop in blood pressure. That seems the most likely cause to me. But what could have caused it Ihave no idea. After all, I'm taking meds for high blood pressure, not low blood pressure. Oh well, like any man worth his salt, I'll ignore it in the hopes it will never happen again.

I had lunch with Sarah and Lance and Brooke yesterday at a very trendy cafe called Guru in downtown Provo. The food was really good (and expensive) and the grand kids were just so cute and affectionate. How come you were never that cute and cuddly?  :)
I can't believe how fast little Brookie is growing! She's developing her very own personality and is pretty fearless in dealing with new people and situations. And now Virginia is giving me another grand daughter any day! Sarah tells me that Virginia is going to keep the actual birth a secret for a day or two. For no apparent reason, except she is a dork, I guess. So chances are you'll hear about it before I do.

I've decided to finally cave in to the nagging about writing another autobiography I get from some of my professional writer friends. But I won't be doing a linear narrative, from point A to point B type of thing. Instead, I'll continue to write two-thousand word vignettes about different events and aspects of my life as a clown, radio announcer, and English teacher in Thailand --  which is what I've been doing for the past several years in a very desultory manner. When I get about 30 of them done I'll string them together and send it out to a publisher to see what happens.
Have you been reading any of them? I post them on my Facebook page, also on my Family Search memories page. I wish you would let me know what you think of them.
I would have loved it it my mom and dad had taken the time and effort to write down a few memories about their lives. But, like most people, they never felt the need to do so -- and that leaves them very much a mystery to me in many ways. I'm hoping that I become less of a mystery to you and the other kids as I continue to write about 'my life and hard times'.

Well, take care, my little peony bush. I think I'll take a little morning snooze now -- I'm feeling pretty tuckered out after my fun times last night . . . .

Love, dad

A Vigilante Action in Clown Alley

'Kyle' is the clown in the back of this old photograph. 


A young boy's definition of 'hygiene' is rather flexible. At least mine was. I was constantly at loggerheads with my mother over her insistence that I change underwear every day. At the time, this seemed rather drastic to me. Who would ever see my underwear, or ever be offended if it began to reek a teeny weeny bit? Changing it once a week seemed the saner course for a young man busy with long sweaty bike rides in the summer and intense ice skating sessions in the winter.
The constant washing of face and hands that were demanded of me prior to each meal at home were also an onerous and certainly unnecessary burden imposed by a germaphobic parent. Her high-handed approach to cleanliness was not next to godliness -- it was next to torture!
But as I matured (or at least my body matured -- there is still some debate in academic circles as to whether my mental abilities have ever extended beyond the capacity of an eight-year-old) I found that soap and water, and a good deodorant, were not the incredible imposition I had once thought; indeed, I realized if I was ever to snag a girl friend I would need to be as clean as a hound's tooth, if not as sharp. So I brushed my teeth and combed my hair and lathered up once a day -- and much good did it do me in the romance department. Girls not only wanted a sanitized boyfriend, but one with money and a car. Pfui!

It was a bitter lesson, one that I took with me to the Ringling clown alley in the year 1971 -- along with my by now entrenched habits of normal cleanliness.

Maintaining hygienic standards in clown alley took some doing. First there was the daily application, and then removal, of the heavy greasepaint. We didn't use any of that namby-pamby powdery stuff you see in stage productions, but good old Stein's Clown White -- a thick and oily white paste that stayed on despite sweat and strain -- and that came off unwillingly only with industrial-strength mineral oil. And even then there'd still be streaks of it in odd corners of the face and around the ears when vigilance was lax.  

My costumes were constantly under siege from animal fluids -- everything from tiger urine (they could direct a stream with unerring accuracy up to ten feet away from their cage) to the watery feces of the elephants after they had raided a handy dumpster. Not to mention the gallons of white goo that were flung around during the ring gags. It consisted mostly of shaving soap and glycerin, and it dried to a thin white crust that was as hard to dislodge as cement.

We were all kept busy washing, scrubbing, and brushing. The hobo clowns, like Otto Griebling and Mark Anthony, were doubly jealous of their personal sanitation; they kept their fingers rigorously manicured and doused themselves with pints of Old Spice. Even then, audience members would sometimes wrinkle their noses at one of them and exclaim "Pee-yoo, does that bum stink!"

But there was one holdout in clown alley who did not follow accepted hygienic practises. I'll call him 'Kyle' for the purposes of this narrative. He was a First of May, one of my fellow students from the Ringling Clown College in Venice, Florida.

Kyle disdained the use of mineral oil for makeup removal. He used Ponds cold cream, not very effectively. The outlines of his Auguste makeup were still clearly visible when he quit clown alley each night. He did not shower because, he claimed, he caught cold very easily. He shaved only intermittently. He rarely trimmed his nails, and the grime underneath them was as potent as night soil from any Third World country.

In other words, he was as filthy and smelly as a goat. How he ever got a contract with the show is a mystery on par with what actually started the infamous Hartford Circus Fire back in 1944.

And he kept his roomette on the circus train in the same squalid shape as himself. These roomettes had originally been the premier accommodations on the crack train lines between New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles, back in the 1920's and 30's. But by the time Ringling Brothers purchased the cars they were practically slums on wheels. So we clowns had our work cut out for us just to keep our roomettes one step above a ghetto. They were dusty, drafty, and uncarpeted, but with a little elbow grease most of us managed to keep them somewhat civilized.

But not Kyle. He never changed the sheets on his Murphy bed; loved to eat fried chicken in his room and scatter the bones around like a Norman baron feeding his mastiffs; and he used his fold down sink as a urinal. The consequence was a new herd of cockroaches every few weeks, which would stampede out from his foul den to the surrounding roomettes -- including mine!

As spring swiveled to summer, Kyle's personal hygiene grew worse -- or at least the cumulative effects of his existing state of filth grew more offensive. There was talk of vigilante action.

 When the show reached Anaheim in July Kyle was unceremoniously removed from his noisome roomette late one night for a complete hosing down. I was not part of this posse, but I heard that they were not very gentle with him. The group also cleaned and scrubbed out his roomette, smashing family photos and other keepsakes while in the grip of their Lysol mania.

The next day Kyle showed up in clown alley sullen and bruised, but very clean. For the rest of that season Kyle kept his nose, and everything else, clean. If he began to slip he was grimly reminded that another midnight ablution could be arranged.

Today such brutal and direct action would certainly be condemned and probably prosecuted as a hate crime. I look back on that episode myself with lingering discomfort and guilt. But what else could have been done? We all asked him to please clean up his act prior to the outrage; our requests met with nothing but a grimy sneer. In the close-packed and volatile world of clown alley Kyle was just asking for trouble.

He did not get invited back for a second season with the circus. Many years later, at a Clown College reunion, I saw him sitting by himself in the corner of the hotel Hospitality Suite, smoking a cigarette. He would not make eye contact with me, so I didn't go over to say hello. He was wearing a light yellow polyester sports coat and white slacks and looked perfectly normal and clean to me. Somebody told me later he worked in Las Vegas as a lounge singer in some of the second string casinos. I remembered then -- he always had a pretty good baritone and used to sing cheerful Broadway show tunes a lot -- before the Night of the Hose.

Your Meds in an Emergency

In normal times, replacing expired medicines isn’t a major issue. You call your physician and get a refill for “fresh” meds. Medicine bottle descriptions and those in print and online sources tell you to discard any drug that has expired, a recommendation so common that it’s considered standard.

But in an emergency or disaster when access to your regular pharmacy may be cut off, what should you do with expired medications? Here are some thoughts from Hikingware.com:

You might be surprised to know that expiration dates have only been government-mandated since 1979. The expiration date is simply the last day that the pharmaceutical company will guarantee 100% potency of the product. In other words, you won’t grow a horn in the middle of your forehead or other ill effects if you take the drug the week after it expires. Indeed, it is rare for expired drugs, especially in pill or capsule form, to be any more risky than the non-expired versions.

This is an important issue to those preparing medically for survival scenarios. If you believe that some disaster will take society to the brink, then you should also understand that such a scenario also means that it’s unlikely that pharmaceutical companies will be functioning to manufacture drugs. Maybe for a few months, maybe for a year or longer. Therefore, at one point or another, you might have to make a decision regarding the use of an expired medication.

This is a decision that also must be made by government agencies such as FEMA and the Department of Defense. Federal warehouses store tens of millions of dollars’ worth of drugs meant for use in peacetime disasters. When these drugs expired, the forklifts came out and huge quantities of life-saving medicines were discarded.

Over time, even the government began to think, “Wow. This is getting expensive. I wonder if these drugs are still good?”. And with that thought, the Shelf Life Extension Program (SLEP) was developed.  The SLEP tested over a hundred drugs in their possession and found that the vast majority were 100% potent 2 to 12 years beyond their listed expiration dates.

These findings led the government to put out extensions of expiration dates for certain drugs as needed, such as the 5 year extension given the anti-viral drug Tamiflu (oseltamivir) during the 2009 swine flu epidemic. These are referred to as “emergency use authorizations”.

Despite this research, you’ll see opinions from those in academia or elsewhere that state all medications are dangerous when expired and should be discarded. These opinions are fine in normal times, but members of the preparedness community should at least consider holding on to medications that might no longer be available in times of trouble.

Think about this situation:  Let’s say that a true catastrophe has occurred that has taken out the grid and modern medical facilities for the foreseeable future. Your daughter is fading from a bacterial infection. You have an expired bottle of antibiotics. She’s dying. Are you going to use the expired drug or not? The answer is: YES, use them even if they're expired; at the very least, they cannot do her any harm.

Medicines, expired or not, should be stored in cool, dry, dark conditions. Their potency will fade twice as fast if stored at 90 degrees than if stored at 50 degrees. Freezing them, however, is rarely necessary. Even if stored in less than ideal conditions, a capsule or tablet that hasn’t changed color, smell, or consistency is probably still worth keeping for austere settings. Of course, in normal times, seek out qualified medical professionals whenever and wherever they are available for medicine refills.

And finally, it’s important to know that all drugs have side effects or restrictions in children, pregnant women, and patients with certain medical conditions. Take time to learn indications, dosage, and side effects of all medicines you keep in your medical supplies.

Have you got these on hand for an emergency?

Hikingware.com reminds us that not all survival supplies are big ticket items. Some essentials are very humble, but very necessary. 

The list below may seem a little weird — like, “Why would I need to stockpile that?” kind of strange. Well, you don’t know what you need until it’s gone, and these are some of those things you just really don’t want to have to try and do without. They are so cheap, they may even appear inconsequential. They’re not.

 Shoestrings are probably not on your radar, but you need them. Survival is going to be a lot of walking and outdoor work. Tying and retying your shoes weakens the strings. A broken shoestring is actually a big deal when you are trying to get around and your shoe is falling off. They are cheap, so load up on them in varying sizes. Or be sure all your shoes use Velcro. 

 Duct tape is something that appears on most survival lists, but a single roll is just not going to do it. You will discover you will need duct tape for just about everything. You could easily go through a roll in the first week if you are using plastic to cover the windows, fix broken glass and so on. Duct tape to waterproof shoes is a common trend, but what they don’t tell you is you can burn through almost an entire roll on one pair of shoes.

 Nails and screws. These are not always cheap, but if you visit some yard sales or thrift stores, you can get them for fairly cheap. Big buckets and cans of screws and nails, even if they are used and a little rusty, will prove invaluable when you are starting over from scratch. They can be used to build new shelters, repair existing structures or fix fences. And they can be used in trade for other items you may need and not have. 

 Reading glasses. You can pick them up for a buck at the dollar store. Buy a lot. If you have a slight vision impairment, you will want to be able to see to read, do any kind of detailed work or to see in general. When there are no eye doctors available for a while, you will want to have the extra glasses on hand.

 Ziploc sandwich bags. Generic ones are fine. These bags will make life a little easier and cleaner. Packing food for a scouting trip, keeping medical supplies dry, storing dried herbs and so on is easier when you have sandwich bags. If first-aid supplies are in short supply, wrapping a sandwich bag around a bandage will help keep the injury and bandage dry if you are going to be in the rain or snow.

 Paper plates and plastic utensils. They are a bit of a luxury, but imagine when you have no water. You won’t be able to wash dishes very often. You don’t want to eat off dirty dishes (it could make you sick) and you don’t want to leave a sink full of dirty dishes that will invite unwanted guests. Paper plates can be used and then burned for fuel.

 Safety pins. They also are so versatile! Using them to hold up your pants, replace a broken zipper or as a makeshift hem are just some of the uses. You also can use them as a fishing hook or to hold a tent door closed. And again, they can be used to bargain for anything you may need but have run out of. After all, they don't go stale! 

 Gloves of all kinds. Exam, rubber and work gloves are going to be a huge help. Putting on a pair of exam gloves when you are butchering an animal is prudent, especially if water is in short supply. Rubber gloves can be worn when you are cleaning up nasty business, including the bucket toilet. Work gloves will protect your hands from blisters when you are taking care of outside chores.

Novelist Jade Chang on the Pros and Cons of Googling While Drinking Cachaça

Researching a bottle of booze

reveals tipsy thoughts that are news.

I don't like to think

it's only the drink

that colors my DUI views . . . 

Fergus Falls man to ride giant pumpkin down Red River to break world record

Rick Swenson took his pumpkin to the river Red to ride
from Grand Forks down to Oslo on the water's pulsing tide.
He'd grown it in his meadow where the mourning doves did coo;
he scooped it out with shovel to create a round canoe.
This Swenson was a sturdy chap, who yearned for Guinness fame;
he didn't want to drink the stuff, just win their listing game.
His mother by the riverbank did plead with him in vain
to come back home instead to fix the stopped up kitchen drain.
His friends said it was folly, and his pastor shook his head;
his high school teachers recommended he should stay in bed.
But Swenson spurned their doubts and fears, and tipped his pumpkin in,
and used his oaken paddle to prevent a lot of spin.
The water gurgled, cold and gray, as cruel as Donald Trump;
the branches and the snags reached out, his fragile bark to dump.
Brave Swenson steered around them all, including sandbars hid
just below the water, full of broken glass and squid.
Along the banks the crowded ranks of well-wishers did yell
as he floated by serene inside his pumpkin shell.
He hit a log and near capsized, but righted at the last.
He waved in manly solitude while motorboats roared past.
Six and twenty miles he rode his pumpkin without fail -- 
and then ran into trouble when the weather turned to hail!
It pummeled him and pierced the pumpkin shell so that it sank;
he was nearly frozen when they dragged him to the bank.
And so the Guinness Record Book did not receive the news,
and Swenson went back home to fix the drains and sadly muse
on how the whimsies of the gods gave freely of renown
to some, but to the others left them feeling like a clown. 

The Breaded Pork Tenderloin

Pork tenderloins all breaded are quite good enough for me;
once I've had my fill of them I'm full of joy de vie. 
With a little mustard and a touch of relish, too,
they provide me with an optimistic worldly view.
Bring 'em on for breakfast, or for lunch, or late at night;
I'll eat them till the cows come home, or mom turns out the light.
Pork tenderloins and Iowa go hand in glove, by gum;
and anyone says diff'rent is a lousy commie bum!
Of course if you put bacon on the top of one you'll find
the kind of taste and texture that will blow your little mind.
Forget about elections or a terrorist attack;
give me breaded tenderloins, and pile 'em in a stack!
Add some mashed potatoes and some coleslaw, holy smoke -- 
it'll send you straight to heaven (maybe by a stroke).
So hail the breaded tenderloin of pork, ye men of meat;
unlike Trump, it's something that is very hard to beat. 

Prepare for Winter Emergencies NOW.

In regions such as North Dakota and Maine winter is already here, with reports of snowfall and freezing temperatures. While winter offers many delights, it can also be a challenging time even without an emergency or a disaster taking place.
Hikingware.com offers these brief, common-sense suggestions for being prepared to meet and, if necessary, defeat Old Man Winter:

• Make sure all general garden maintenance is up to date. Loose and/or old branches cut down, perennial weeds burnt etc.
• Check slabs and pathways for cracks that may let water in and then freeze causing more damage and trip hazards – repair as required.
• Put a couple of bags of rock salt and grit mix out the back to keep the patio safe to walk on.
• Put a couple of bags of rock salt and grit behind the side gate to keep the drive ice-free.
• Stow all the garden furniture away for the winter. 
• Bag up footballs,  super-soaker guns and other kiddie crap and hang in the garage.
• Rinse and air dry the wetsuits and store in rodent proof box.
• Make sure wood supply is adequate and coal bunker is full.

• Grease saws and garden tools to keep them in good condition.
• Clean and grease lawnmower blades and wipe the machine down ready for spring.
• Replace all tools in their rightful home at the far end of the garage.
• Check roof for gaps and holes – close the door during daylight and look up, any splits and gaps will show. Seal/repair as required.
• Wipe down outsides of all electrical items: tumble drier, spare fridge and spare freezers. Check all plugs and sockets for damage, repair as required.
• Clean out cupboards checking food dates and looking for blown/rusting cans.
• Check pipe lagging under the sink.

• Check for flaking paint/varnish on wooden doors and sills, repaint /varnish if required to prevent water penetration and rot.
• Check weatherboards and fascias are in good repair and tightly fixed in place.
• Seal any gaps in window frames/door frames
• Clean UPVC frames and windows.
• Check lagging on the outdoor taps. Re-lag if needed.

• Check the roof. Go into the loft during daylight, close the hatch and look for dislodged tiles or slates. Repair as required.
• Check pipes on exterior walls are lagged.
• Put one emergency box right outside the back door on back porch ready for use.
• Test central heating and bleed radiators if needed.
• Get boiler serviced.
• Get chimneys swept.
• Fill log baskets and put next to each fire, ditto coal scuttles.

Many service stations offer a 'Winter Tune Up' special for vehicles this time of year. If you don't do this stuff yourself, take advantage of these specials to get your car in shape for winter. Also, go through your glove compartment(s) to throw out any trash and restock with safety and emergency items such as a flashlight, candles, matches, and some hard candy.

Don't be daunted by the length of this list! Do a little bit each day, and in a matter of a week or two you'll have your homestead and vehicle ready for whatever Old Man Winter may bring on this year. Then you can sit back, relax, and enjoy the sledding, skiing, and making snow angels with the kids! 

What to Save During an Emergency

WHAT TO SAVE DURING AN EMERGENCY

You can't schedule an emergency or crisis like you can a dental appointment. So how can you ever really be prepared for one?
Hikingware.com recommends five areas where planning ahead will help you better survive the disasters that unavoidably come into our lives:

Legal Documents

• Identification, especially in this day in age, is extremely important. In light of a catastrophic disaster, your access to transportation, medical aid, and other public services could be hindered if you fail to provide some form of identification. Also, in the event that one of these forms are stolen during a break-in, your family is now extremely vulnerable to identity theft for what can easily be several years. Not only can this lead to feelings of discomfort and perpetual worry, but it can even have a devastating impact on your family’s financial security. Other types of documentation to consider are insurance policies, wills, health records, and financial documents.

Bank & Financial Information

• Everyone, individuals and families alike, should have an emergency fund that will last a minimum of six months. Emergency funds are best made up of guaranteed investments such as savings accounts, as opposed to stock portfolios. Many individuals even elect to establish both short-term and long-term funds. While the short-term fund can be for less-serious emergencies like car repairs, the long-term fund is for major emergencies and disasters. The information for these accounts, and all other financial accounts for that matter, should be stored someplace safe and secure. If you do not already have them, consider purchasing a fireproof safe or obtaining a safety deposit box. At the very least, have copies of major banking information put in a freezer bag to store in your freezer.

Home Safe Home

• It is almost impossible to prepare for all disasters, but what you can do is take a few preventative measures that are easy, affordable, and protect your home from a wide variety of disasters. One such measure is investing in a good security system for your home. It will protect your home against everything from the obvious break-ins, to fires, floods, and below-freezing temperatures. These systems provide constant monitoring whether you are at home or away, and can save you a lot of heartbreak and headaches along the way as well. Having peace of mind that you and the proper authorities will be alerted in the event of an emergency is immeasurable.

Survival Kits

• Disaster emergency kits are simply a collection of the important items an individual or family needs during the event of an emergency or disaster. These kits should be kept in a couple places around the house, and perhaps even a place of work. They should contain at least one gallon of water per person, three-day supplies of nonperishable food, clothing, a battery-powered radio, flashlight, extra batteries, basic tools, maps, and even necessary medications. This will allow you, and/or the members of your family, to not rely solely on aid relief. It will also provide you with the ability to stay put, as opposed to venturing out into a potentially dangerous environment.

Plans & Instructions

• The American Red Cross recommends developing a preparedness plan, unique to you and your family, that both prepares and informs in the event of a disaster or an emergency. It is also recommended to choose two separate meeting places outside of the home. One should be immediately outside of your house for sudden disasters, such as a fire. The other meeting place should be outside of your neighborhood to cover the chance of there being a mandatory evacuation. This also brings up the point that an evacuation plan should be put in place, practiced, and executed efficiently by family members at least once a year.

How to Survive a Riot

Although the United States is a relatively safe and stable country, there are times, and places, when the civil authority begins to break down so that mobs and rioting can threaten your family. In fact, riots have been in the news quite a lot lately. It's getting so that the flash point for an urban riot and mob rule requires a much shorter fuse than in the past.

Hikingware.com asks if you are ready for such a crisis if it happens in your area? Here are some tips and ideas to help you get through the worst of a riot:

When certain densely populated areas become a cauldron of human rage and anarchy, that’s when “groupthink” begins to take over. Groupthink is the loss of reasoning in individuals – when they adopt the mentality of the crowd that they’re a part of.
It has been defined this way: a deterioration of mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment that results from in-group pressures.

This is one reason why it’s absolutely crucial for individuals to take cover and stay out of sight for the duration of the riot — especially during the hours that curfew is in effect. Obviously, you’ll want to keep away from downtown areas, but also, it’s best not to come within blocks of businesses, either.

You’ll know where the rioting has reached a fever pitch wherever there is looting, as this is an invaluable indication of where law and order has been temporarily overturned; places where consumer goods are concentrated tend to be magnets for looting. Also, it’s best to keep away from places that sell alcohol, because A), this is probably not the best time to be attending happy hour, and, B), alcohol will attract and enable groupthink. This is why a police scanner should be part of your emergency equipment; it can let you know where the trouble areas are. 

If you currently live within blocks of a possible rioting hotspot, then you’ll want to consolidate, hide and protect your valuables and necessities. It’s really anyone’s guess as to what the groupthinkers are going to do and where the riot virus will spread, which means that it’s best to prepare for the worst BEFORE things get out of hand. 

You should keep on hand enough lumber and nails to board up your front windows quickly so that mobs cannot get a peek inside your home. Also, a few boarded up windows may convince them that there's no one and nothing worth disturbing. 

Having a 72-hour pack ready to go out the door with you is literally going to be a lifesaver if you have to evacuate because of rioting near you. 

Remember that there are two triggers to evacuation. One, the local authorities tell you to leave, and two, you yourself decide that your home is no longer save for your family. Make sure you discuss the second trigger with all of your family, so they know ahead of time that when you give the word to go it's not time to sit down for a family council, but time to make like a bread truck and haul buns!

One final warning about dealing with rioters and police:

If you own a firearm, keep it concealed. If rioters see your weapon they might feel threatened and react immediately in a deadly manner. Also, if the police and/or National Guard see your weapon they may think you're a rioter and react in as deadly a manner as the rioters. When a riot threatens your neighborhood, don't play the hero. Get your family out with your immediate valuables and documents, and don't look back. The way to play hero is to prevent any violence to your family be removing them from the threat zone -- not by flashing your weapons around like The Magnificent Seven. 

Keeping a Food Terrarium in Your Home

KEEPING A FOOD TERRARIUM IN YOUR HOME

While they are most often used for growing flowers and other non-edible plants, it is possible to grow food inside of a terrarium.

Hikingware.com encourages you to consider the uses an indoor terrarium could have during a disaster or emergency that cuts you off from getting out for fresh food, or even just the chance to look at some greenery.

A terrarium is a closed or almost closed mini-ecosystem, enclosed in a clear container. Depending on what’s inside, the lid will either fully or partially cover the bottle. The lid will help control the environment inside your terrarium.

For each terrarium you’ll need:

• A clean, clear container with a wide top and a lid such as:
  • A large mason jar
  • A cake stand
  • A gallon pitcher
  • An aquarium
  • A plastic deli container
• Activated charcoal pieces or an aquarium filter
• Potting soil that drains well
• Enough pebbles to line the bottom of the container a by ½ inch
• Sphagnum moss
• Your desired plants and seeds (more details below)
• A spray bottle for misting
• Plastic wrap to cover the top if your container’s lid is missing or doesn’t cover tightly.

How to Assemble Your Terrarium

You’ll need four layers at the bottom of each terrarium. They are each essential to creating a healthy, low-maintenance system.

First, place a layer of pebbles or cleaned gravel at the bottom of your container. This layer allows drainage from the upper layers, and prevents your plants from rotting at the roots.

The second layer is a thin layer of activated charcoal. You can also use a piece of aquarium filter cut to size. The charcoal absorbs odors from the decomposition that’ll happen as your garden grows and keeps the soil clean.

If your plants don’t need a tropical environment, you can skip the charcoal. For these plants, you’ll be leaving the lid off of your terrarium at least partially, and the fresh air will keep the odor down.

Next you’ll add a layer of sphagnum moss. This moss is often found in swampy areas, and is also known as sheet moss. It will prevent the soil on top from making its way down to the filtering material.

Your final layer before adding plants is potting soil. You’ll want soil that stays well drained. A soil mixture comprised of peat moss, vermiculite and perlite works really well for growing in small spaces.

The soil needs to be deep enough to accommodate root growth. Three inches is a good starting point, though you can adjust this based on the plants you are growing.

Before planting, you’ll want to pack down your terrarium’s base as much as possible. You can use your hand, or a small gardening tool that’ll fit inside your container. A hand-held potato masher also works.

This packing process will remove air pockets in the soil and gravel, and help your plants grow better. Once packed, your soil and drainage materials should take up about a quarter of your terrarium container.

Not every food plant is suited for terrarium growth. You want slower growing plants that won’t grow bigger than your container. Here are some that gardeners have had success with:

• Dwarf tomato plants
• Dwarf blueberry plants
• Herbs such as mint, thyme, and oregano
• Spinach
• Lettuce
• Arugula
• Green onions
• Creeping figs

A terrarium is a great project for the kids. It's simple and low maintenance, and it will give your children a sense of contributing to the welfare of the entire family as they care for it consistently. Unlike a bag of split peas, a glass terrarium can actually add beauty and color to your living room decor while providing a bit of security in times of emergency. 

Helaman 5:3

  "Yea, and this was not all; they were a stiffnecked people, insomuch that they could not be governed by the law nor justice, save it were to their destruction."

Helaman 5:3

A Nephite who had a stiff neck

held mercy and justice in check.

He would not be led 

by leaders, instead

the ship of state he made a wreck. 

 

Hurricane Season

ARE YOU PREPARED FOR HURRICANE SEASON?

 Florida, usually considered the most hurricane-prone state, has been extraordinarily lucky until now, with Hurricane Wilma in 2005 (the same year as Katrina hit South Florida).

It doesn’t take very long for people to forget the devastation that previous hurricanes have caused in the United States. Hurricanes are one of the few disasters that advanced weather forecasting can predict well ahead of its arrival. The National Weather Service puts out regular advisories for upcoming storms. Despite this, few are prepared to handle the dangers to life and property that can occur.

Certainly, hurricanes can be severe, but they don’t have to be life-threatening for those who prepare.  Unlike tornadoes, which can pop up suddenly, hurricanes are first identified when they are hundreds, if not thousands of miles away.  We can watch their development and have a good idea of how bad it might get and how much time we have to get ready.  An effective plan of action takes into account factors like shelter, clean water, food, power, and other important issues.  By planning before a hurricane threatens your area, you’ll avoid the mad rush for supplies that leaves supermarket shelves empty. 

It's also a very good idea to have your emergency supplies on hand well before hurricane season begins, according to Hikingware.com. Because you never know what other kind of disaster or emergency may strike your neighborhood at any time. 

You can outrun one of these storms if you get enough of a head start. That’s actually one of your most important decisions:  Should you get out of Dodge?  If you live on the coast or in an area that floods often, there will be rising tide waters (known as the “storm surge”) that might be reason enough to leave. The storm surge, combined with heavy rains, can cause impressive flooding, and is the leading cause of deaths due to hurricanes.

The National Weather Service keeps a close eye on hurricanes and issues two types of warnings:

Hurricane Watch: Hurricane conditions (sustained winds of 74 mph or greater) are possible within a specified area.

Hurricane Warning: Hurricane conditions (sustained winds of 74 mph or greater) are expected somewhere within a specified area.

In many cases, the authorities will issue an order to evacuate areas that will be hardest hit. If such an order is broadcast, you should leave. If you live in pre-fabricated housing, such as a trailer, or near the coast, it’s wisest to hit the road before the storm makes landfall. Alternatively, many municipalities will designate a hurricane-resistant public building in your own community as an official shelter.

If you decide to weather the storm at home, designate a safe room somewhere in the interior of the house.  It should be in a part of the home most downwind from the direction the hurricane is hitting you. Be certain to plan for any special needs that family members (and pets) may have.  You may wind up taking care of more people that you expect, so have more water and non-perishable food than you think you’ll need (1 gallon/day per person minimum). Filling bathtubs with fresh water would give you a reasonable supply.

Fill up gas and propane tanks early in every hurricane season. Make sure that you know how to shut off the electricity, gas and water, if necessary, and perhaps consider getting a generator and some extra gas cans. Never use gas grills or generators indoors, though, as the fumes may be life-threatening.

Some items will be very useful in the cleanup after the storm.  You’ll need work gloves, plastic garbage bags, duct tape, insect repellent, and even tweezers to deal with the splinters that inevitably are part and parcel of moving a lot of debris.  A chain saw might be needed as well.

In the aftermath of the hurricane, cell phone service may be down due to the huge volume of calls. Texts may be possible, however, even if voice calls aren’t.

By planning early to get your home and family prepared for a hurricane, you’ll get through the storm in the best shape possible.

The Top Ten Disaster Movies

Turning from the grim realities of preparing your family to survive emergencies and disasters, Hikingware.com would like to present instead a list of the top ten disaster movies.
Maybe you've seen some of them, and hopefully there are a few that you haven't viewed yet.
So put on your crash helmet, warm up the DVD player, break out the popcorn, and review these flicks where Mother Nature turns nasty . . .

Twister.

Along with flying cows, one of the more interesting twists in the storm-chasing thriller Twister is its leading couple. In movies like Outbreak, Independence Day and 2012, it’s the stagnating husband who has to win back his jet-setting ex. Not so in Twister, where Bill Paxton is the collared shirt wearing sellout, while soon-to-be ex-wife Helen Hunt has to lure him back to the passion project that united them.

The Day After Tomorrow.

Some say the world will end in fire, but in The Day After Tomorrow Dennis Quaid tells us emphatically it will end in ice. Of course no on listens to him, so when the North Atlantic Current abruptly reverses course the world’s leaders are caught unprepared--some quite literally--by the biggest planetary weather event in more than 10,000 years.

Contagion.

Stephen Soderbergh brought the multilinear style he used in 2005’s Syriana to the disaster genre in 2011 with Contagion. The style, sometimes known as hyperlink cinema, was a natural fit for a disaster movie. It allowed the director to track the rapid spread of a lethal disease from a variety of simultaneous viewpoints. The film's all-star cast includes Laurence Fishburne, Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow and Bryan Cranston.

Earthquake.

A giant earthquake, a suicidal wife and psychotic national guardsmen are just a few of the problems Charlton Heston faces in 1974’s Earthquake. With help from George Kennedy and Shaft himself, Richard Roundtree, Heston leads a ragtag band of survivors through the ruins of Los Angeles. What's not to like?

Outbreak.

In Outbreak, Dustin Hoffman and Rene Russo race to stop the deadly Motaba virus before Donald Sutherland drops a giant bomb on an infected California town. Though the speed with which Hoffman synthesizes a magical cure may not be scientifically accurate, the rest of the movie feels eerily plausible. Fun fact: The capuchin monkey in Outbreak also became a sitcom star when he played Marcel on Friends.

Armegeddon.

Admit it, you can still sing every word of the Aerosmith theme song to Armageddon. Directed by Michael Bay and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, Armageddon was the flashier competition to the summer of 1998’s other astronomical disaster movie, Deep Impact. Though today it falls squarely in the guilty pleasure category, the movie nonetheless features a great cast, sharp dialogue and a striking visual style. Get some more butter on that popcorn, stat!  

The Poseidon Adventure.

Though not the first disaster film, The Poseidon Adventure nailed down the blueprint for future entries with its strong ensemble and stunning effects. Gene Hackman stars as an unorthodox preacher leading the handful of survivors smart enough to ignore the morons urging everyone to go the wrong way. While all disaster movies feature tragic deaths, The Poseidon Adventure delivers some of the most devastating sacrifices in the genre.

The Impossible.

The Impossible is set against the backdrop of one of the most devastating natural disasters in recorded history. The movie is based on the real-life story of Dr. María Belón and her family, who were vacationing in Thailand when it was hit by the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami that took the lives of over 240,000 people in fourteen countries.

Titanic.

It may not have aged well but in 1997 Titanic was, to quote its leading man, the king of the world. That year James Cameron’s period spectacle won a whopping eleven Oscars. Sadly, as we all know, the romance at the heart of the film ends in tragedy when an older and obviously insane Rose throws away a priceless diamond necklace that could have put all her grandchildren through college.

The Towering Inferno.

The Towering Inferno had all the elements that defined disaster movies in the 70s: a huge, all-star cast led by racing rivals Paul Newman and Steve McQueen, dazzling special effects, and a complex web of intertwined storylines. It also fell just short of winning the Best Picture Oscar when it was nominated in 1975, losing to a little movie called The Godfather: Part II. Which only goes to prove that, in Hollywood at least, crime DOES pay. 

Confronting and Defeating Asbestos in Your Home

Every family should be prepared for a major catastrophe. And while most families have some sort of plan in place for natural disasters like tornadoes, hurricanes, or floods, very few are adequately prepared for asbestos exposure. However, it’s imperative that you understand how to respond.

Hikingware.com encourages you to follow these five simple principles in order to minimize your risk of asbestos exposure and consequent health problems:

Hundreds of thousands of homes around the country have asbestos lurking behind the drywall and hiding in the insulation. And while it’s typically fine when left undisturbed, it can be a real danger to your health when it becomes airborne. 

1. What to Know if Your Home Contains Asbestos

Everyone wants to know what they should do if their home contains asbestos. The best answer is to proceed with the utmost caution.

“f the structure was built in the 80s or prior, it’s best to assume there’s asbestos in the drywall and other building materials. This means that you shouldn’t do serious renovations without professional help. Intrusive sanding, cutting into walls or ceilings to install fixtures or outlets, removing or cutting down walls in renovations all have the potential to sicken your family.

If you want to be certain whether or not your home contains asbestos, then you can have your walls tested. There are both DIY and professional tests available.

2. Know Where it is Found

While most people are aware that asbestos is found in insulation, did you know that it can also be present in other home construction materials? It is commonly found in steam pipes, boilers, furnace ducts, cement sheets, resilient floor tiles, shingles, siding, and more. It’s also found in old vehicles – specifically in brake pads and gaskets.

3. If Asbestos is Disturbed…

The unfortunate reality of the situation is that you probably won’t know if asbestos is disturbed. However, if you suspect that it may have been released in the air – perhaps due to tearing through drywall – then a calculated response is necessary.

For starters, you should immediately use a respirator to avoid breathing in the fibers. Next, you should seal off the affected area to prevent fibers from traveling to other areas of the home. It’s also smart to cut off the HVAC in order to kill airflow.

Remove your clothing and leave it in the affected area and then call a professional to assess the situation. A professional can determine if there’s an  exposure risk and take any necessary action. Should the professional determine that the area needs to be cleaned, he will use a respirator, HEPA vacuum, and disposable clothing.

4. Have a Method for Evacuating

It may seem like overkill to have an evacuation plan for asbestos, but it’s better to be prepared than to end up with a health crisis on your hands. With this being said, an evacuation plan is a smart idea.

An evacuation plan should account for multiple exit points and a plan of action for gathering important items – such as keys, clothing, and more. Generally speaking, you can use the same evacuation plans for things like natural disasters.

5. Don’t Reenter Until the Problem Has Been Resolved

After exiting your home, you should get in contact with the appropriate parties. They have all of the right equipment to handle the situation. Never personally reenter the home until the issue has been identified and fixed.

Don’t Let Asbestos Sneak Up On You

The likelihood of asbestos entering your home and harming your family is quite low. However, in homes that were constructed prior to 1980, it’s entirely likely that asbestos is lurking behind walls. It is also still found in building materials that are imported from overseas, especially China. So be safe and have your house checked for asbestos.