The Cousin of Higgs Boson

From the New York Times:  "Two teams of physicists working independently at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, reported on Tuesday that they had seen traces of what could be a new fundamental particle of nature."


When protons are smashing together

they shed particles over the heather

that scientists gather

to work up a lather

about theories light as a feather. 

Be strong like old Moses

Be strong like old Moses and it shall appear

that nothing and no one can bring you to fear.

He parted the Red Sea with power from God;

upon the dry ground did the Israelites trod.

We and our troubles are under His care;

He'll help us each burden to humbly bear.  

Not Even in Denmark

From the Wall Street Journal:  "It’s never going to happen—probably not even in Denmark—but employers ought to encourage their workers to visit cultural institutions on company time."

"What's this, Johnson, you still here? It's nearly noon, you know."

"You ought to be out on your way to the new Renoir show!"

"Never mind the spreadsheets or the power point display;"

"You need a dose of culture -- off you go to watch ballet!"

"Take my car, if need be, to the blue grass jamboree."

"And don't come back until you've taken workshop poetry."

"HR is insistent that the staff be trained to note"

"the nuances of ev'ry single blessed Shakespeare quote."

"And while you're at it don't forget to take a cooking class;"

"or at least learn how to brew authentic beetroot kvass."

"Once the company has got you trained in all the arts"

"you'll be ready to go sell our brand of auto parts!"

The Trigger Happy Christian

From the Washington Post:  

"At Liberty University, the conservative Christian school founded by the Rev. Jerry Falwell, talk these days in hallways, cafeterias and arenas flows easily from God to guns.

University President Jerry Falwell Jr. kick-started the conversation with a fiery call for the campus community to take up arms to deter terrorist threats following the mass shooting in San Bernardino, Calif.

“Let’s teach them a lesson if they ever show up here,” Falwell told thousands of students here Dec. 4, with an unsubtle reference to a pistol in his back pocket. Five days later, he announced plans to let qualified students store guns in residence halls for the first time."

When God proclaimed "Let there be light"

mankind brought forth the gun-sight.

A Christian confessin'

with his Smith & Wesson

merely protects his birthright. 

Petrobras

From the Wall Street Journal:

"The graft probe at Petrobras, as the oil company is known, has swept up dozens of Brazilian politicians and business executives. Authorities are investigating the house speaker, Eduardo Cunha, for allegedly having undeclared Swiss bank accounts and for receiving kickbacks in relation to certain Petrobras contracts."

Oil and corruption are twins;

have one and the other begins

much trouble and greed --

and it's picking up speed,

as the legal sharks stiffen their fins. 

Is Your Doctor Getting Too Much Screen Time?

From the Wall Street Journal:

Computers, laptops and tablets are increasingly occupying your physician’s attention as more medical practices record their patients’ data electronically rather than on paper. This has changed the dynamics between some doctors and patients and created new communication challenges, research shows.

My vital signs are taken by computer nowadays;

the doctor reads the screen in diagnosing my malaise.

He never looks me in the eye or asks how I am doing.

(Sometimes I think he a DVD is simply viewing.)

Hey doc, shut up your laptop while the day is bright and young,

and take my pulse or ask me please to stick out my pink tongue!

I can Google anything as well as you can, doctor.

What I need is sympathy, and not a cyber-proctor.

U.S. Counterterrorism Officials Plan to Beef Up Social-Media Scrutiny

From the Wall Street Journal:

"The Department of Homeland Security is working on a plan to expand scrutiny of social-media posts as part of its visa application process before certain people are allowed to enter the country, a person familiar with the matter said."

If you're a certain person and you're on the internet,

expect Homeland Security your postings all to vet.

Coming from the Middle East, you'd better post it right;

ev'ry word had better reek of sweetness and pure light.

Otherwise the muted men of Washington will see

that you never, ever come into our scared country.

Of course to check the tweets and blogs and Instagram accounts

of every single immigrant takes eyes in vast amounts.

I don't see any glamour in that kind of work at all --

better to sell shoes down at the local freeway mall.

From a country full of John Wayne types and Captain Kirks,

we will soon descend into a nation of dull clerks.